into where my shadows hide
a crawlspace coffer where my illogic resides
thrown down from my most obscure core
comes the foulest drivel from visions i bore
i tangled them in to death at birth
so steadfast was i. i buried any proof
i pushed away, but they came back in time
here, these darkest fancies of mine
licking at my skull when stirred
crawling through my veins once spurred
spreading through my hair… skin, nails, eyes, nose
ringing in me, an endless dim note
'no! no! i can't! i won't! please.. no..
not me! not mine! not what i want’
desires, disgust, imprisoned in me to haunt
desires, disgust, imprisoned with shame
please don’t come back to me again
except for the drip of the drool on my chin
the sweet salty silk of this moisture of sin
i will not come back to you again
except for the drip of the drool on my chin…
*********** i figured i should post this, since some of the words from it are on my new image of me, that i so completely reshaped.
You have given me so much. You have allowed me strength that I was unable to connect with through my struggles. You have given me endless love.
This journey has been hard, and you have been right there with me through it all to hold me in your unbreakable, devouted, comforting, warm and absolute embrace. I love you, Devi… I love you to no end.
This is my home. This is where I belong.